It was never my attitude to tell something about my standing as a middle child in my family. But what I am feeling right now isn’t just bad, but so bad that I could think thousand thoughts at the same time. Words inside my mind are juggling like knives, which actually bruises directly through my heart.
Sometimes I wonder if, “middle children are the ones whom your parents confides to” is true in my case.
It was as hard. It is closely painful than being the last or being the first. You are always the one they seemed to approach, worst if they were on bad moods. They could hurt you without knowing it. They could simply turn your feelings like a child who has nobody to cry on.
It sometimes is a good thing that they turn to you knowing that they trust you in some measure, but most of the bad time divulging, it was never easy to stand the pain. It was never easy being confide in without someone to confide to after being confided in.
It takes time to understand what they’re trying to put off knowing that you did not do something bad to them. It was never easy to understand someone who gets mad without you doing something wrong anyway.
Too bad is when you have a lot to say for them to understand, they won’t let you win because all they know is that they are mad, either to her nor to him, it’s still you in front so you’re the one to hit.
They don’t seem to appreciate your effort in standing for the longest hour just to let them finish their talking. They don’t seem to appreciate your being tough-hearted after their sharp words. Likewise, how can you appreciate them?
I still have a lot to say. But I can’t find words anymore when I know in the end; I will still lose the game. That they’re the elders, chance of winning is better if you keep your mouth tucked.
